Carol

I know... I've been missing for a little while. I wish I could say it's cuz I've been out doing fantastic things and having the time of my life, and I suppose that's about half true. But the other half, well... it's the worst kind of thing to have to go through, and I don't wish it on anyone.

Not quite Hawaii...
(Left Hand Reservoir, Boulder County, CO)

A couple weeks ago I went to Hawaii to visit my best friend, Debbie. It was a fantastic trip and while it was of course, wonderful to be in Hawaii, it was even more wonderful to spend time with my best friend. I'd like to devote a post to my Hawaii trip soon, but before I can do that I feel the need to bring up the dark cloud that appeared over my Hawaii trip and followed me around for the remainder of the trip into the following weekend; and is, well, still hovering around.

Remember this picture? A fave of my parents includes a
couple of their oldest and closest friends.

On the 2nd day of my trip, as Deb was giving me an "island tour" I got a message from my mom with some tragic news; one of my parents' closest and oldest friends had been killed in a hiking accident the day before. Carol. She went out for the afternoon and never came home. She left her beloved husband of ~37 years and many, many, many close friends.

Yellowstone Park in 1988

A great majority of us friends gathered at Nick and Carol's Boulder mountain home last weekend (I was home for 2 days between Hawaii and Colorado) to celebrate Carol's life. We stood up in front of each other to share stories and thoughts and memories. We celebrated the way Carol lived and the way she loved and the way she made everyone feel like they were her best friend. We celebrated her generosity and her talents in the kitchen and those budding on the canvas. We celebrated her enthusiasm and how she lived each day to its fullest - more than your average person does. We celebrated her love of the outdoors and her love for her dogs and more than anything else, her love for Nick. In a way we could be comforted knowing that she lived a vibrant and full life with her soul-mate by her side.

In front of the home where we celebrated Carol, but back in 1991

Carol's current babies (as opposed to those in the
picture above who were of the previous doggie era)

As the cold Boulder rain came down we cozied up together under tents and umbrellas. And I couldn't help but wonder, as thunder accented particularly notable memories, was there a reason the sky opened up only during the hours of Carol's celebration? Was our huddling together part of a grander plan? Perhaps it's nice to think...yes. It was as Carol would have wanted it.

Bed & Breakfast-ing in Carmel, 1997

The most spectacular sunset I've ever seen - setting over the Rocky Mountains

As clichéd as this is, I can say now more than ever how important it is to not live life for the future. Live life for today. For as close as we were when I was young, I hadn't seen Carol (or Nick) in 6 years. Their get-togethers were with my parents and it often wasn't very convenient for me to see them at the same time. I was living the years with this nagging at the back of my head: "gosh, I really haven't seen them in so long... I can't wait to catch up with them... I can't wait for them to come to my wedding someday..." Well it turns out - I really shouldn't have waited.

Oh how she'd have loved to be with us all last weekend;
but really, I suppose she was

This post is for Carol.